Thomas' Blog

Uhm whoops

uhm so I didn't write anything for this week because deppression.

Mental Health

As of monday this my mental health is slowly starting to recover. I may or may not have forgotten to take my meds for the last week and ironically I’m better now. It’s very possible that my medication was having a negative affect on me but I doubt it. It was most likely just by chance that I’m doing better this week. I just really wish I had a psychiatrist to help me get the meds and dosage I need to feel normal.

It’s now Thursday and I fell horrible. I went from having all the motivation in the world to absolutely none. I hate this so much. Keep switching between barely being able to get out of bed to doing all of my homework and ny projects I want to work on. I just want it all to stop. I want to be able to feel normal. I don’t want my mental health to be constantly switching between too much motivation to none at all. The fact that its now starting to switch up around every 3-5 days is screwing with me really bad. My head feels fuzzy but not in the way of depression fuzzy. It feels like its just full and I have no room for my actual thoughts. This is why I just want to lay in bed. If I have no thoughts of myself I don’t get overwhelmed.

Today is Friday and let me tell you, evrything is horrible. Aparently I had a manic episode Tuesday and Wednesday. I don’t even know what to do anymore. Aparently I need to get blood work done and this is all just too much for me to handle. I just want it all to stop. I just want to be able to feel normal. But to describe what happened on Tuesday and Wednesday essentially I just felt really motivated and energetic while I was ega deppressed the day before and after.

School

Quarter 2 has started as of last week. yayyyy… Good news though I only failed one class last quarter and it was English. I got a 58 average :/ but whatever.

Blog

Forgot to mention last week that I added comments and this week I removed the rating system because it was broken. Also added a faw about me and faq for the nameless server.

My thoughts on triggers

Obviously peoples triggers are very valid and thats not up for debate. I do think it’s worth talking about people making their triggers public though as I personally think this is a horrible idea. The world is filled with horrible people and making your triggers public just leads to people taking advantage of them in a way to both manipulate or scare you. The best example of this I personally have was being emailed an image of a pride flag burning. I made it public that I was gay and of course someone will always be there to hate on you for that. Just as a general rule of thumb for me is to always try to add trigger warnings and spoilers before posting something that could negatively affect someones mental health.

Mental Health

This week started off being really low on Sunday and Monday. I'm writing this Tuesday. Today isn't the worst so far but it's by no means what my mental health should be. Though my motivation to code again is going up my motivation to do homework is still nonexistent. I really wish I had a sense of how my mental health would progress so I could know whether to prepare for the worst or starting pushing myself again.

I'm writing this as of Thursday and may I say I feel like shit. I don't know if I can consider this an all time low but It's very close. I've been considering skipping classes. I don't see a point in actually going. I can't focus nor can I actually do my work. All I want to do right now is be home sleeping.

Bitcoin Mining

I've been bitcoin mining for the last couple of months on my old laptop and current laptop. That's a 1050 ti and 3060 both mining and I've made about $41 dollars from intermittently mining. I hope to just mine 24/7 in the future. As of right now bitcoin is a buy market due to the recent crash down to 30k per coin but I'm hoping to just stop mining when it goes back to 60k. Either way I don't plan on mining for long as the side effects of crypto networks on society is horrendous due to the pure amount of electricity all the servers draw. Especially due to the fact that my mining rig is not power efficient at all. This is because the rigs are in a small form factor so heat has a hard time escaping. This means the fans have to work overtime both effecting the efficiency and power consumption.

Current Event - Trump promises to ban transgender women from sports if re-elected

Summary

During a rally in Texas trump recently stated that if he was elected president that he would ban “men”(Trans women) from playing sports with cis women. Trump not only misgendered them on purpose but also stated that “If this does not change, women’s sports as we know it will die.” The article states that the reason that trans women are such a big topic at the moment is that conservatives want to wedge “red meat” to the polls by threatening women sports.

Opinion

I think that it is insane that this is still being used to push people to the polls as this has been used by conservatives for the last 2 years already. This is becoming more and more of a social issue as some of the new regulations require trans women to have lower T¹ levels. This is forcing trans women to take T blockers even if they don't want to. The rules also state that they need to have the lower T levels for at least 36 months in advance. I understand why this is such a huge issue right now but in my opinion, the male and female sports are going to disappear anyway. A binary sports system built on a now growing non-binary gender system is destined to fail. We are slowly getting closer to a non-binary based gender system where people can be who they are without having to conform to only two genders. This means that having a binary sports system will eventually have no use as more and more people consider themselves as non-gender-conforming or trans*.

Mental Health

Last week I went through a lot of personal drama so my mental health is arguably a lot worse. I've been feeling a tiny bit more motivated lately which is nice. This is no where near to where I was a month ago but it's a start.

Blog

We have a rating system I'm trying out so we'll see how this goes.