19. Week of 2-6
Mental Health
As of monday this my mental health is slowly starting to recover. I may or may not have forgotten to take my meds for the last week and ironically I’m better now. It’s very possible that my medication was having a negative affect on me but I doubt it. It was most likely just by chance that I’m doing better this week. I just really wish I had a psychiatrist to help me get the meds and dosage I need to feel normal.
It’s now Thursday and I fell horrible. I went from having all the motivation in the world to absolutely none. I hate this so much. Keep switching between barely being able to get out of bed to doing all of my homework and ny projects I want to work on. I just want it all to stop. I want to be able to feel normal. I don’t want my mental health to be constantly switching between too much motivation to none at all. The fact that its now starting to switch up around every 3-5 days is screwing with me really bad. My head feels fuzzy but not in the way of depression fuzzy. It feels like its just full and I have no room for my actual thoughts. This is why I just want to lay in bed. If I have no thoughts of myself I don’t get overwhelmed.
Today is Friday and let me tell you, evrything is horrible. Aparently I had a manic episode Tuesday and Wednesday. I don’t even know what to do anymore. Aparently I need to get blood work done and this is all just too much for me to handle. I just want it all to stop. I just want to be able to feel normal. But to describe what happened on Tuesday and Wednesday essentially I just felt really motivated and energetic while I was ega deppressed the day before and after.
School
Quarter 2 has started as of last week. yayyyy… Good news though I only failed one class last quarter and it was English. I got a 58 average :/ but whatever.
Blog
Forgot to mention last week that I added comments and this week I removed the rating system because it was broken. Also added a faw about me and faq for the nameless server.
My thoughts on triggers
Obviously peoples triggers are very valid and thats not up for debate. I do think it’s worth talking about people making their triggers public though as I personally think this is a horrible idea. The world is filled with horrible people and making your triggers public just leads to people taking advantage of them in a way to both manipulate or scare you. The best example of this I personally have was being emailed an image of a pride flag burning. I made it public that I was gay and of course someone will always be there to hate on you for that. Just as a general rule of thumb for me is to always try to add trigger warnings and spoilers before posting something that could negatively affect someones mental health.