9. Week of 11-28
yay i fell behind on everything
As you may be able to tell by the date for this week I'm not wrtiing this the week of so instead of recapping that week I'll just instead go with my backup plan. So I'm going to write down what a day with severe depression during a depressive episode is like for me.
Waking up
I wake up tired as hell and I feel like it's impossible to get out of bed. Once I get the motivation to get out of bed I end up having to rush to get my stuff together. If I make the bus then I'll get on the bus and play the game don't fall asleep. The reason I'm so tired is because of the depressive episode. No matter how much sleep I get I will always be tired.
Periods 1-3
These are the easiest periods of the day as it's English, AP CSA 1, and Exploration in Compsci. It's nice to start the day slow as it let's me wake up and prepare for the rest of the day.
Periods 4-9
By the time I get to period 4 I can barely stay awake. I will probably end up dossing off at some point during class. 5th period is chem which it always gives me energy when I'm with my friends. When it comes to my depressive episode they usually last a week or two. They best way for me to cope with them and get through them is to spend time with my friends. Though during the episode all i want to do is isolate myself which is so bad for me. After period 5 if it's a b-day I go to gym instead of double chem. Either way I happy because I get to spend time with my friends. Once 6th rolls around I get to eat and just sit alone in the cafiteria for two periods because double lunch. Last but not least I have math 9th and by then I'm decently awake enough to not worry about falling asleep.
Panick Attacks
This is all added to random panic attacks while I'm walking through the halls. If they're really bad I'll end up just not going to class. It's only ever happened before chem or lunch thank god. These panic attacks usually just lead my to hyperventilate and just need to sit down. Though recently I did have a melt down in math. So that was cool.
After School
Usually during depressive episode I tend to skip clubs and go straight home to nap. This nap usually lasts until around 5 or 6 where I'll then have dinner. After dinner I'll consider doing my homework but even the thought of raising the pen to write makes me mentally breakdown. I usually end up skipping my homework and going to bed or using my computer till 10.
Homework and Grades
I usually tend to get most of my deppresive episodes during 2nd quarter. I suspect this to be seasonal deppresion but I haven't done enough research to know. Though because of these episodes my grades in 2nd quarter are always the worst of the year as I normally hand in none of my homework and fail most of my tests. This year I am experincing the episodes like normal but keeping on top of my homework fairly well compared to normally.